Not Your Prince
by mana massacre
Summary: A quickshot involving Severus Snape, his diary, and his tormented love for a certain, charming Lily Evans. Snape x Lily, songfic to Fairy Tale by Guang Liang.


Song is Tong Hua [Fairy Tale by Guang Liang. Badly translated by me. It's in Chinese.

No copyright infringement intended. Snape and Lily belong to JK Rowling, although if you see the rights to them on eBay, make sure to tell me.

:edit: "That was my sin. And this... This? This is my punishment" taken from Dirge of Cerberus by Square. Felt like I should say it before someone bit me about that one ;

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**It's been a while since  
I've heard you telling me your favorite stories.  
I've thought about it, and I'm starting to worry...  
Have I done something wrong again?**

_"Cute, Potter, your filthy mudblood of a girlfriend defends you still"  
Even though I couldn't see her face, I pictured what she would look like.  
Her emerald eyes wide and startled, filled with crystal tears. Her mouth half-open, her thoughts precise. "I thought you were my friend"  
And there I stood, wand at my side, nearly broken by my clenched fist, while I was looking to Potter with pure disdain, my dark eyes narrow in hatred. I heard a sob, and I knew it came from Lily._

That was my sin.  
And this...  
This?  
This is my punishment.

He set the quill down, watching the ink drop from the tip down to the pages of his worn diary. He wondered how Lily would feel about him, and his guess was that she would feel the way he feels toward her son. Love and hate. Hate because he played a big part in their downfall, and love because he played an even bigger part in her son's survival.  
But there is no spell, no magic to reverse the effects of death.  
No redemption.

**You cried to me.  
"Fairy tales are only lies"  
There's no way I could be your prince.  
Perhaps you don't understand that  
Because of you, my stars shine at night.**

He turned to Dumbledore when no one else was there to help. Perhaps this made him a traitor, a coward, but it was his last attempt to save Lily.  
And what would he give for her?  
_Anything._

He was prepared, knowing where Harry and Dumbledore went. He silently cursed in his mind. _That old fool_, and immediately regretted it. He knew that the hunt for Horcruxes was absolutely necessary, but he never expected Harry to go along.

"Lily..." He whispered, burying his face into his hands, shaking his head in despair. "I can protect him from Voldemort... but not from his own foolish ambition." He then looked up, raking his unruly black hair back. He remembered her beautiful green eyes, her fiery red hair, and her blazing, tender heart. It was true, she could see the best in anyone. Including him.  
"I wish you were here right now," he said with a chuckle. "I could use someone to talk to."

He mentally went over everything he did for Harry. He saved him from Quirrel when his broomstick was bewitched. He tried to save him from the Chamber of Secrets. He faced a werewolf when every attempt of trying to prevent Harry from finding Sirius was foiled, and…  
And was that enough?  
Not even close.  
Perhaps it would be better if the boy knew of his true intentions, but then he would have no motivation. And the motivation, he knew, was the only thing that kept him going.  
He hated the boy, but he had to protect him.  
Not because of a set of eyes, but because of all the memories conjured by them. He had to protect him because of the memories behind those familiar eyes.  
Lily's eyes.

**I want to become the angel in those fairytales,  
I'll spread my arms and turn them into wings to protect you.  
You need to know, know that we will be our own fairytale,  
With "happily ever after" as our ending.**

He closed the book and looked at the clock. It was nearly time to leave. He knew what the silly boy, that Malfoy, was going to attempt to do, and what he had to do to stop it. What he told Dumbledore he would do. Because Draco was far too innocent. Ignorant. In way over his head.  
The boy reminded Snape of himself.  
He picked up his diary and flipped the pages back even further, skimming through his words. It was as if he was seeing everything he already did, but through a projector.  
He noticed something out of place about certain entries.  
He skipped lines.

After every line, he would skip the next, and jump to the one following the blank. A bemused smile dangled on his lips when he remembered why he had done so.  
_In case anything was to change._

Silly boy, he thought as he slammed the diary shut hatefully. He remembered that he loathed Hogwarts at the moment he jotted down that painful entry, and he could still see the ink smeared by his tears. He remembered how he was unable to even speak that day, how painful every single breath was. It hurt him to no end that he had lost her to James Potter. But what had hurt more.  
Was losing her at all.

Thoughts aside, he cleared his throat, stood up, and fiddled with his wand. His black eyes were sharp and determined, and he knew what he must do. For the promise he made to Dumbledore, but more importantly, for the beautiful Lily Evans, his one and only.  
After all, he loves her.

And after all this time?  
_"Always."_


End file.
